Nil by Mouth
During my Bolton days I was scheduled to go into hospital for a double hernia
operation. Purely by chance I checked in and Michael Bridges was in the same
hospital - he was also having an operation the same day.
As you know, usual operation practice is that you can't eat any food twelve
hours before surgery - 'nil by mouth'. We were both in pre-op and chatting to
each other, Michael was starving and kept saying how he could murder a Mcdonald's.
They then began the anaesthetic, which had the usual effect and we were both
like little kids in fits of laughter.
That's all I remember until I stated to come round in the recovery room. I
was still feeling the effects of the laughing gas when Michael was wheeled into
the room. A few minutes later he suddenly sat up in his bed and shouted
"Where's
me F*&%ing McDonald's?". By now I'd been there some time and although
I still felt a bit 'drunk', I was aware of what was happening. It was hilarious,
but it got better
A nurse was standing behind some curtains and you could
see the silhouette of her figure. Again, he sat up and shouted
"I'd
like to sh*g that nurse!!".
Obviously the medical staff must regularly hear this sort of thing, but for
me, it was hilarious. If I'd had a video it'd be worth millions. If I'd laughed
any harder I'd have had to go back into theatre and have the operation for a
second time!
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